When you are the adult child of an aging mother, navigating the boundaries of your relationship can get a bit tricky. The woman who once raised and nurtured you is now beginning to require your care and assistance to navigate her daily life. And at a certain point, your mom may begin to require more care than you can reasonably provide (or than she is comfortable letting you provide). At this point, transitioning to assisted living seems like an inevitability. To help ease the transition for both you and your mom, there are a few important factors you should keep in mind as you both go through the process.
Assisted Living Is Not A Loss Of Independence
When you bring up the idea of an assisted living facility with your mother, she may not immediately be receptive to the idea. This is due in large part to the perception that assisted living is just a nicer way of describing a nursing home. However, this is not the case, and you will likely need to convince your mom of this fact.
Assisted living apartments allow your mother to maintain her independence while still having the assistance she needs for certain tasks and easing the burden of certain activities. Apartments in assisted living facilities can be just like any other apartment for rent with a few alterations. Your mom will still have a bedroom (or two if she would like), a full bathroom, kitchen, dining, and living room area.
Assisted living apartments differ from standard apartments in that staff who assist with daily living tasks and activities will have keys to access the apartment. Additionally, the walkways and halls will be wider to accommodate wheelchairs, bathrooms will be equipped with handrails and assisting devices for safety, and there will be emergency alert buttons near the bed and possibly in other rooms so that your mom can call for help if she needs it. Otherwise, she can live as independently as she would like and only partake in the care she requires when she would like it.
She Can Bring Her Own Furniture And Possessions With Her
While not everything in a full-sized house will fit in an assisted living apartment, your mom also will not have to go through the struggle of giving away or getting rid of all of her possessions and furnishings. Much of what she cares about from her home can come with her to the assisted living apartment. This makes the space still feel like her own and will help to ease the emotional distress that can occur when an elderly person has to leave the home they have been in for years.
When helping your mother go through her possessions during the transition process, try not to force the issue of giving family heirlooms, furnishings, or any other possessions away to family, charity, or anywhere else. Because your mom will have a full apartment to live in, the items of importance can stay with her. While you may want to step in and help with the process, allow her to take the lead and wait until she asks for your advice or opinion on what to take and what not to.
Keeping these factors in mind will help ease the process of transitioning your mom to assisted living. If she has trouble being convinced of her continued independence, even knowing the facts about assisted living apartments, remember you can schedule a tour for her to see for herself. So, be sure to watch out for your mom's best interest as you help her along the way with this important transition.
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